Dear Sir,
When I was in my early twenties, I was brought under the sound of the gospel by a Christian friend and ‘prayed the prayer’ of acceptance and commitment to Christ. When nothing much happened, I was told to trust faith and not my own feelings. When I understood the gospel better, I realised that this had been a false conversion, because I was continuing in sin and had no personal knowledge of Christ – let alone a heartfelt love for Him. I must therefore have acted emotionally, partly to please my friend, and without understanding the nature of, or counting the cost of, true discipleship.
As I grew older and increased in knowledge of the faith, I believed all that the Scriptures taught and read little but Christian literature. However, my besetting sins (mainly selfishness, pride and lust) show that I have led an increasingly double life. Outwardly seen as a strong believer (I took up leadership positions in the church) but secretly still treading the broad path of disobedience in the world, while Satan dulled my senses to the truth.
