Hear ye!

And lo, in those days, the bishops of the Church of England spake unto their denomination saying: ‘There shalt be no change in our doctrine of marriage; there shalt be no blessing of same sex marriages; we shalt henceforth ask all ordinands (not just the gay ones) questions about their morality; and there shalt be, within that framework, maximum liberty, once we have worked out what that means.’

And behold, some of the party known as the evangelicals rejoiceth, saying: ‘This be alright, then, and much better than we had feared.’ But others of the evangelicals sayeth: ‘This is more unto us such as a curate’s egg, being pleasing in part greatly, but in other parts, it stinketh.’ And yet other evangelicals declareth: ‘The bishops faileth to teach clearly, and, verily, we trusteth not their trajectory.’

And some evangelicals bemoaneth the views of these other evangelicals, thinking unto themselves: ‘These others have hearts of concrete, and their manner towards us feels like as the Donald, namely Trump.’ And these in turn sayeth to the aforementioned: ‘Thou hast hearts of lily, but our exegesis is better than thine, so there.’ And verily there was much yah-ing and verily much boo-ing also. And some apologiseth, which was good; others not.