Disagreeing without being disagreeable

THE ART OF DISAGREEING:
How to Keep Calm and Stay Friends in
Hard Conversations
By Gavin Ortlund
Good Book Company. 96 pages. £7.99
ISBN 978 1 802 541 403

I was very glad to receive this timely title from the author of Finding the Right Hills to Die On (which does not refer to actual hills or actual dying, but does help to put our positions on some theological topics into perspective!). What is plain is that the same irenic spirit displayed in that book can also be found here in this brief book.

Ortlund begins by asking why disagreement is so difficult; he helpfully reminds us that disagreement is not necessarily a bad thing, the issue is how we disagree. He suggests that ‘in the modern world, we are losing the ability to disagree well,’ and that this leads to fractured relationships. By contrast, when disagreements are handled well, they can be productive and lead to mutual understanding. When we learn how to disagree well, instead of making enemies we make friends. To develop this posture in our relationships with those with whom we might not see eye to eye, the author suggests five things that ought to be displayed in our lives: