In Depth:  Jacqui Wright

The Single Track

‘They fell in love and lived happily ever after’, which is how Princesses’ fairy tales end and what all romantic hearts desire.

But they were not living in the perfect ‘land of the (eternal) living’, rather in the ‘land of the dying’ while they lived, which is how Matthew Henry describes Psalm 27.13. Yet this hope remained – ‘I will see the goodness of the Lord’ while I live on the earth.

The Single Track

Dear beautiful single Sister

I know that life is sometimes really hard for you. You feel forgotten and passed by. You feel misunderstood and disrespected. You are not valued nor appreciated as you ought to be. Sad, bad and mad things happen to you. You know betrayal, rejection and abandonment. You know what it is like to be used. It is all so terribly unfair! You feel like crying and shouting, and giving up all at the same time. You feel crushed by it all and believe those internal lies that you are worthless – just rubbish. You feel as if life isn’t worth living anymore.

The Single Track

It’s a common complaint amongst women in our current society.

‘Why won’t men commit anymore, like the older generations did?’ Timothy Keller, in his book The Meaning of Marriage, indicates that the pressure on single people today in the areas of love, sex and marriage are far greater due to societal pressures than in previous generations.

The Single Track

As single Christians, we have a different journey through life to the expected social script of the church: to get married in your twenties, have two to three children and be a family unit in the church all your days.

So not to get married (by choice or not meeting the right person), or to go through a divorce (usually as the innocent party), or to be widowed, doesn’t fit the stereotypical pattern. This makes us different and can make us feel marginalised or excluded from the mainstream norm of married families in the church. This can raise our fears and anxieties related to being judged, to our sense of belonging, even to our willingness to date in the church.

The Single Track

We are constantly reminded that we live in an imperfect, fallen world.

Although we have dreams and longings here, we know that they will only ultimately be fulfilled in Christ in glory. Even the very best of everything in this world comes with some disappointment. So we have to manage our expectations and our thinking, especially as singles who have the desire to be married.

The Single Track

An article was recently circulated on social media.

It was called ‘A Pastor’s Apology to the Single Community’1 written by John Pavlovitz. It was his apology on behalf of many pastors who have failed singles in their churches. He felt that they had unintentionally marginalised or excluded them, overlooked their unique needs and challenges, or ignored them when preaching on marriage and family. He realised that this had caused pain. He then positively stated that singles are The Church; they are not second class; they do not have less worth than married Christians; they are deeply loved and appreciated. Their singleness is neither a mere temporary affliction whilst waiting for rescue nor a judgment of their lack of Christian character. He asked for singles to keep on forgiving pastors when they got it wrong.

The Single Track

I am coming to this very difficult topic from a position of weakness.

There was a period of 16 years when I had no success in older post-divorce ‘dating’. In fact, I got things hopelessly wrong! On reflection, it was related to three factors: my personality, my past, and God’s providence.

The Single Track

Dear church and church leaders,

Possibly, like you, I left my single life in my early twenties when I married a pastor and became busy with ministry and having a family. I did not think about nor understand the singleness issue for people in our congregation, as it was never raised for my attention.

The Single Track

Singles usually fall into three basic categories: There are those who desire and choose singleness, those who are content with either singleness or marriage if they met the right person. And those who have a strong desire to be married whether single as never married, divorced or widowed.

This article is aimed primarily at those in the latter group.

The Single Track

How do we rightly think about sex and love from a biblical perspective?

We need to start by understanding God’s covenantal love for us in Christ; that is his promise of unconditional love, acceptance and forgiveness in Christ. From this unimaginable gift of grace we worship, love, trust and obey him first and foremost. He is the ultimate bridegroom and the one who satisfies all our deepest needs.

The Single Track

Christian singleness is a very difficult topic to address.

This is due to the diverse range of people that make up ‘Christian singles’. There are those that have never married, or are divorced, or widowed. Some are single parents and others are not. Some see singleness as a gift, others choose it, but many desire to be married. The age span is across an adult’s life. This topic is often avoided in churches for fear of offending a particular subgroup.

The Single Track

Who are Christian singles?

Christian singles are a diverse group: never married, divorced and widowed, across all ages of adulthood. Some are single by choice but many are not.