How I have changed my view on singleness

Does it matter that I am brown and single? Growing up, marriage was always the goal of any South Asian parent for their child or children – to know they were settled. Society and culture seemed to suggest that life’s milestones should include marriage and then children.

As a young teenager, I too believed this was the way because it was ingrained in me culturally, but when life doesn’t work out like that, where does my hope lie – or that of the other 40% of UK adults who are single?

Over the years, I’ve often been asked questions like ‘Are you dating anyone?’ or ‘When do you plan to get married? Have you tried dating apps?’ Sometimes, even comments like ‘You’re beautiful, I don’t understand why you’re still single!’ Although meant with good intentions, these have at times (not so much now) left a sense of not being good enough or that something was wrong with me. It felt as though there was an assumption that I would only be ‘complete’ once I was married, as if my singleness was somehow a deficiency.