As single Christians, we have a different journey through life to the expected social script of the church: to get married in your twenties, have two to three children and be a family unit in the church all your days.
So not to get married (by choice or not meeting the right person), or to go through a divorce (usually as the innocent party), or to be widowed, doesn’t fit the stereotypical pattern. This makes us different and can make us feel marginalised or excluded from the mainstream norm of married families in the church. This can raise our fears and anxieties related to being judged, to our sense of belonging, even to our willingness to date in the church.
Recognising our fears
We need to recognise our fears. It is not right to suppress our feelings nor give full vent to them but rather pray them out to God and tell a trusted confidante. Often Christians go through years of praying, hoping, trusting and obeying in the dark, when not understanding what God is up to. As Pastor Tim Keller says, ‘obedience is hard, disobedience is impossible’. Turning your back on God’s plan and running away leads to disaster. There is only God’s protection as you move forward in his plan, no matter what that involves or where that takes you, even if you are up against a wall with no options that you can see ahead. ‘But you are a shield around me, O Lord’ (Psalm 3.3a).
