Scotland: a hellish perspective

David Robertson, with apologies to C.S. Lewis, gives a different perspective on the current church scene in Scotland.

My Dear Diabolos,

Superb job! It really gives me great pleasure to see how well your mission in Scotland is going. It is so deliciously ironic that this land that was once so feared by us, inhabited by the ‘people of the book’, is now almost completely turned around and leading the way to what our enemies, the humans, so stupidly call ‘secularisation’. Ever since the Russian prophets of the 19th century, we have been looking for a way to undermine the basic foundations of marriage and freedom. Now our goal is within sight. How absolutely wonderful that you managed to get the British Prime Minister to declare his intention of ‘redefining marriage’ — while, of course, at the same time talking about defending the family.

But you have even trumped that one. There we were thinking about how we could get the Scottish Parliament to try and kick-start the process, and, lo and behold, you come up with the genius idea of having the Church of Scotland, in effect, pronouncing itself in favour of gay marriage. Superb! But be careful. Don’t overstretch yourself. I know it must be tempting to sport with the poor darlings, but the Enemy is always dangerous. Of course, he has the incredible weakness of actually caring for the pathetic creatures and he does like to have them on board and use them — for his glory. How disgusting! Anyway please allow an older and wiser colleague to share some tactics with you. This is how we will destroy the Church in Scotland (and thus the whole society).