Refocusing your marriage

John Benton  |  Features
Date posted:  1 Jul 2003
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Let me ask you a personal question. What is the purpose of your marriage?

As a bride and groom walk down the aisle, what agenda is at the back of their minds? It may be overstating it a bit but is he thinking about her along these lines? 'You make me happy, and in getting married I'm giving you the opportunity to make me happy for the rest of your life.' She may be thinking something very similar.

As Christians we might feel a little uncomfortable about that. We might decide its better to put things in terms of our happiness rather than my happiness. But the question is this: is happiness, either individually or together, meant to be the purpose at the centre of your marriage? I do not think it is. One well-known Christian book on marriage, which has much good in it, tells us, with Genesis 2.24 in mind, that the purpose of marriage is 'oneness'. But I don't think that is true either. Adam and Eve were at one in their decision to eat the forbidden fruit. Other Christians might say that the purpose of marriage is to serve one another. But though that is good, I have to say that I do not think that is the main purpose either.

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