The Music Exchange

I’m just coming to the end of the wedding season here at St. Helen’s.

The number of weddings that take place each year seems to go in waves. Two years ago there were three or four over the whole summer; this year I’ve done 11 in under two months. So I thought it would be worth writing down some reflections that may help those thinking about the music for weddings during the coming year.

Engaged couples

First, some advice to engaged couples. Remember that your wedding day is focussed first on Christ and second on his relationship with his Church, a relationship which your ceremony celebrates (Ephesians 5.31-32). Therefore, try to choose songs and music that will direct attention to Jesus and which serves the congregation rather than simply your own musical tastes.

Invariably there is a higher proportion of unbelieving guests at a wedding than at a normal church meeting, so try and spare us the painful (but common) scene of the bride and groom whooping it up to their favourite songs while the guests stand there chewing the cud. Guests expect to have a good sing at a wedding, so make the majority of your hymns ones that they may at least remember from school days. The choice is getting thinner and thinner the more secular school assemblies become, but ‘Praise, my soul’, ‘Guide me O my great redeemer’ and ‘Love divine’ are all examples of hymns that are still well-known and are good at encouraging people to think about the God who loves his people. If you want a contemporary favourite that you think may not work with an un-churched congregation, ask for it to be sung or played by someone during the signing of the register.

Entrances and exits

Other than the hymns and the signing of the register, the only other decision you have to make is what music the bride would like for her entrance and exit (hopefully with her husband by then). For those who know nothing about music this process has got much easier because of advances made on the internet. If you’re clueless about musical things, the best way of choosing entrance and exit music is simply to ask the person providing the music what he or she plays. When they give you their repertoire you’ll be able to listen to what each piece sounds like on You Tube. Some organists are happy to play the music to you in situ, which gives you a much better idea of how the piece sounds on that particular organ. Widor’s Toccata sounds great on the St. Paul’s Cathedral organ, but not so great on St. Twistleton’s box of drain pipes.

Give some warning

Also, if you have requests for pieces of music that are likely to be outside the usual repertoire, do give the musicians weeks, if not months of warning. I’ve done some pretty ‘out-there’ pieces this year — from ‘Baba O’Riley’ by The Who as a bridal entrance, to Messiaen’s Transports de joie as exit music (for both of which I was given — and needed — plenty of warning).

Changes and musicians

On this point, I’ve noticed a big change in musical demands over the last few years. I used to just turn up, play the organ and maybe provide a solo during the signing of the register. These days there are string quartets, bands of various sizes and abilities, CDs to play, friends of family singing or playing during the signing of the register, bagpipes. All need much rehearsal and sometimes drastic control from the PA desk — though I wouldn’t even suggest that you miked up the bagpipes. So do be kind to musicians! Try not to make more demands than are necessary, especially last minute ones, remembering that the wedding day exists to serve Jesus primarily, and not as a show-case for your own musical eccentricities.

Next, some tips for wedding musicians about these issues. It takes enormous skill and gracious patience to convince some engaged couples not to over-cook their wedding music. They (and, more importantly, their guests) will be grateful in the long-run, however, if you take a firm lead in suggesting songs and music that would best work with your skills and in your setting. Rather than saying ‘no’, much the best way is to have some more appropriate alternatives to offer them. When those alternatives are presented kindly and enthusiastically, it’s surprising how many couples come round — many times have I managed to find an ‘even better and more popular hymn than “Jerusalem”’! Success in this often depends on the attitudes of the couple and the state of their nerves, but, so long as you show a gracious and servant spirit, with some humour when needed, it’ll save you a lot of sweat. I was very pleased to have talked one bride out of exiting to ‘It’s a jolly holiday with Mary’ from Mary Poppins. Her husband-to-be was even more relieved than I was.

I’ll continue with the wedding theme next month.

Music to get married by

Engaged couples

Entrances and exits

Give some warning

Changes and musicians

Richard Simpkin

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